Instead of being stuck in the past, one should start thinking about how their present life could affect their future. "And seen my helium hopes break skyward without me". This quote compares a persons hopes and dreams to balloons at a fair. An opportunity only lasts for so long; a person can either grasp it quickly or watch as it drifts away without them. "I take perhaps my last ride on this planet carousel." The writer is comparing life to a carousel, and is wondering how many days she has left to live. However, instead of worrying about the numbered days, one should go out and enjoy life, since life is so short. A person never knows when their life could end, so they should take advantage of every opportunity that they get.
If a person wants something, they should chase after it, instead of reminiscing about past events in their life. "And ask how many times round I have". In this quote, the author is referring to the amount of days they have left to live. One does not want to live their life with regrets, so they should live each day to the fullest, because they will never get that day back. "To catch that brass-ring-sun before the game is up". To me, the "brass-ring-sun" is a goal that they want to achieve before they die. A person's attitude determines whether one will achieve that goal or not. One should always have a positive attitude about life, because by doing so, they can accomplish more things.
Time on Earth is very precious and limited. One does not want to spend their life constantly wondering "What if" or saying "I should've done this". The past is the past, and a person can't change that. The only thing they can change is what their future will look like. One should live their present life with no regrets. Life is already so short, and anyone's life could end in a split second. And when their time comes, one should be proud of their achievements and the fact that they lived their life to the fullest.
If a person wants something, they should chase after it, instead of reminiscing about past events in their life. "And ask how many times round I have". In this quote, the author is referring to the amount of days they have left to live. One does not want to live their life with regrets, so they should live each day to the fullest, because they will never get that day back. "To catch that brass-ring-sun before the game is up". To me, the "brass-ring-sun" is a goal that they want to achieve before they die. A person's attitude determines whether one will achieve that goal or not. One should always have a positive attitude about life, because by doing so, they can accomplish more things.
Time on Earth is very precious and limited. One does not want to spend their life constantly wondering "What if" or saying "I should've done this". The past is the past, and a person can't change that. The only thing they can change is what their future will look like. One should live their present life with no regrets. Life is already so short, and anyone's life could end in a split second. And when their time comes, one should be proud of their achievements and the fact that they lived their life to the fullest.
Good job elaborating on every quote to your thesis. Something you could work on is in the first paragraph you can delete "is a poem". But overall good essay.
ReplyDeleteThis essay is very descriptive and elaborates a sufficient amount on each idea. I ponder on one concept and move to another as the idea is closed with each paragraph. You made sure that the person reading this essay is able to understand what this is about, and I do appreciate that attention to detail.
ReplyDeleteNow, the few things I would suggest to improve upon is transitions. It goes from one quote to another. I know I did say that your ideas open and close (as they should), but my brain kind of does it inadvertently. Some people may need those transitions that really do close those ideas up.
Another thing I would like to touch up upon is diction. It communicates your message fine, but I feel just a tad bit more versatile vocab would make this essay a little bit better. It's like color correcting a video that's a tad bit warm.
In general: transitions and some more words.
-C
YOUR DISCUSSION NEEDS TO BE MORE COMPLETE. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE JUST LISTING QUOTES AND EXPLAINING WHAT THEY MEAN. YOU NEED ELABORATE- DISCUSS ITS IMPORTANCE, WHAT IT MEANS, AND HOW IT PROVES YOUR THESIS STATEMENT. YOUR IDEAS ARE NOT COMPLETE IN THOUGHT, WHATEVER YOU STATE YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN. MS(3-)
ReplyDelete