Monday, August 29, 2016

Peer pressure and alcohol essay: rough draft

      When growing up, everyone will experience some form of peer pressure. Peer pressure often influences teens to act similarly to their peers. In an effort to fit in or be cool in social events, it can be very hard to say "no" in these situations. Peer pressure can be as harmless as following a simple fashion trend, to as dangerous as doing illegal activities. The most common type of peer pressure is in relation to alcohol. Although peer pressure with alcohol can boost a persons social status, it impacts your future in a negative way, causing people to make risky choices, lowering your chances of getting into a good college, and it affects brain growth and development.
       Alcohol along with peer pressure can cause people to make dangerous decisions. Underage drinking is linked to an increase of physical violence, according to a study by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. When drunk, many teens don't think about how their actions will affect them later on, therefore they do whatever they want. Also, if it's their first time drinking, they don't know the side effects of it and can lose self control. Peer pressure with alcohol can also cause an increase of drunk driving. The Edgar Snyder and Associates Law Firm says that 4,300 people die annually, due to underage drunk drivers. The pressure to be cool can cause teenagers to put their lives, along with others, in jeopardy just because they wanted fit in and drink with the rest of their peers. Teenagers today face countless tensions that can heavily impact the decisions that they make. 
      Peer pressure involving alcohol can also harm your chances of getting into a good college.  Getting a disciplinary infraction in high school can affect your chances of getting into the college that you want, especially if it's put on your permanent record. Underage drinking is illegal, meaning you could go to jail if caught. That means that by drinking in high school, some teens are risking a possible scholarship or acceptance just because they wanted to drink and party with their friends. According to a Brain and Alcohol Research with High School Students, 25% of seniors say that alcohol has affected their grades in a negative way. Drinking can have an impact on your memory and your sleep schedule, causing you to miss class or show up without being able to pay attention. Grades are the most important thing that colleges look at during applications, so if they see a decline in your grades, it harms your chances of being accepted.
      At a younger age, your brain is still growing and developing every day. A study by George Washington High School proved that 39% of students experienced peer pressure to drink and did it. The effects of alcohol on an adolescents brain can be significant, depending on the amount they drink.   Alcohol is proven to affect memory and balance. It also slows down your central nervous system, slowing your reaction time, and decreasing coordination and academic performance. Underage drinking affects a teenagers spatial learning, changing their behavior and making it very difficult to do specific tasks, such as finding their way out of a maze. Overall, the effects of alcohol on the brain are mainly targeted to the hippocampus. The hippocampus plays a part in many cognitive functions, such as learning abilities and memory. Many teenagers don't know the risks and long term effects that alcohol can have on their lives, and how it can impact their future in a negative way. When they see that the people, like their peers, are drinking and having fun, it makes them want to do it too. However, while it may be fun at the time, alcohol affects and damages parts of your brain, making it unable to reach it's full potential.
      Peer pressure with alcohol can help teenagers to become more popular, but it also affects your future in the long run, affecting one's decisions, decreasing college acceptance opportunities, and impacts cognitive abilities. The pressure to fit in can be very stressful at times, so teenagers don't think about their choices all the times. They feel a need to dress, talk, and act like everybody else. Many times, the things that your friends do will have an impact on the decisions that you make for yourself. Some teenagers drink to fit in and be considered popular in high school, but will being cool help you become successful and have a career? Does being cool in high school even matter once you're an adult?
      

4 comments:

  1. Overall, great essay because of all of the interesting facts that you provided. Although, I felt like your topic sentences were predictable like, "Alcohol along with peer pressure can cause people to make dangerous decisions." I think that everyone already knows that alcohol and peer pressure cause people to make dangerous decisions. You should change it and make it more interesting. Also, your spelling and grammar was good and your essay was fluent and easy to follow.

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  2. In all your essay provides a lot of facts about how alcohol and peer pressure relate. I think you can summarize some of the points in your body paragraphs. I think you can add more facts that the audience may already know, like stating the obvious. But overall I liked how there was a lot of facts and discussion.

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  3. I liked how your thesis was really smooth. Also it was good how the facts related good to the thesis. You could summarize some parts of the body paragraphs to make it smoother.

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  4. YOUR INTRO NEEDS TO DISCUSS SUBTOPIC MORE BEFORE STATING THESIS STATEMENT. AVOID STATING THE OBVIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS THAT THE READER MAY ALREADY KNOW, BUT MAKE SURE TO EXPLAIN ALL IDEAS. SOME OF REASONING IS SHALLOW STATING THINGS THAT WE CAN ALREADY ASSUME WITHOUT LEARNING ANY FACTS. MS(3-)

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